Why can’t you just be faithful? Teni screamed while turning things upside down the bedroom. Tears were coursing down her cheeks unchecked.Please tell me this is all a bad dream. As Denola moved closer to console her, she screamed do not touch me, you disgust me. How could you? Do you ever love me? Her words hurt me, I am in the wrong, it was just a minute of madness, please forgive me. I know this is asking for too much, can you not tell anyone about this. She burst out laughing, you bet I won’t, all you care about right now is your image. She picked her shoes and walked out of his apartment and out of his life.

He did not know this, he felt the relationship could still be salvaged. He loves Teni with his whole being. How could he have known that she was going to walk in on him and Titi, it was a night of drunkenness. The previous night he went out with the guys while drinking, a familiar figure sashayed into the bar. Tolu, his friend whistled and said guess who just came in, Titi with the hot bod’ everyone murmured, damn Denola this your babe is fire, that girl is hawt, but guy why you leave that babe now.

Point of correction my ex, Denola said taking a look at Titi and seeming uninterested, that ship has sailed mehn. It was as if Titi knew they were discussing her, her eyes connected with Denola as he turned back again, she raised her glass mockingly to greet him. That girl has always been a lot of trouble, he smiled to himself. Titi thinking his smile was an invitation walked up to their table and joined them. He did not want to ask her to leave so as not to make a scene and this cost him his relationship.

They got drunk taking shots of tequila, Titi jumped on the sofa and started dancing away, he had to put her down and offered to drive her home. Since his home was nearer to the bar, Titi cajoled him to take her to his house due to her drunken state, she would leave first thing the next morning. She could not afford to let her parents see her in that state. Truth be told, she will be disowned, a whole Bishop’s daughter drunk. So he took her home, she took her bath in his bathroom and came out naked and that was it. He could not blame it on his drunken state, he kept saying no Titi, Titi please but she knew his weakness and went straight for his d***. The next morning Teni met them naked on the bed.

Wasiu was en route Iya Ondo’s place to eat Pounded yam and Ogunfe(goat meat) with the fat tip Madame Teni gave him when Madame Teni’s call came in, come pick me Wasiu, she said. He had to do a 360 turn around to go pick her. He got to where she was standing and saw her crying, won se nwa wa ekun mu,e eyan kuni(why is she crying, did someone die?) Wasiu thought to himself while trying to park. Teni entered the car and said, take me home? Oh, that must be it? That’s why she is rushing home, her papa or mama don die, eh ya, poor Madame Teni. Madame Teni just blurted out Wasiu, why…why do men cheat? He was shocked at first, he looked at the rearview mirror, so na man dey make am cry like say somebody die…nawa ooo

Why Do Men Cheat

Cheating is a choice, Cheating is never justifiable under any circumstances. Cheating happens in good and bad relationships, It happens even in open relationships where extramarital sex is carefully negotiated beforehand. The freedom to leave or divorce has not made cheating obsolete. So why do men cheat?

Men cheat because they are men(it is in their DNA). Men are polygamous in nature, the idea that men are gonna be men and the popular belief among women that “every man cheats” and that cheating is ”normal” also helps to sustain this cheating culture.

They are thrill-seekers and live by the motto “You only live once,” He doesn’t think he’ll get caught. This one is plain and simple. “She’ll never find out, so why not?” Fact is, she usually does .

Men cheat because they like varieties, you know what they say about variety being the spice of life. They want to try lots of sexual experiences/fetishes with as many partners as possible. The excitement, the thrill of the chase, the conqueror, comes from primal instinct. Simply put, self-gratification

Men cheat because they lack self-discipline or control. He never intended to cheat but his weak will led him into trouble- very possible. the other person was really hot or he was seduced, this is always the excuse. And sometimes it is the situation he finds himself, he is either on vacation, stressed or simply drunk

Cheating is celebratory, men applaud one another when cheating, it is part of “the bro code”. When they see their randy friends with 3 to 5 girlfriends, they call each of these girls ”our wife”. Their randy friends can also lure them, my friend is doing it…Bad mentors too, their father or a father-figure is doing it so there is nothing wrong with it

He wants to leave her, he is not happy with the relationship. He wants to get out but he’s too much of a sissy to speak up so he cheats.

Neglect, he feels his partner is not paying enough attention to him or not spending enough time with him. The other person wasn’t really there for him, he does not feel appreciated. Their need for attention and admiration is never-ending

Sexual desire, not having sex with their partner.The other lady is giving it to him hot hot

An act of service, servicing the other women. Some men think they are God’s gift to women and that gift must surely go round

Greed, he wants to have them all in different colours, shapes, sizes, and smell

Lack of love, Insecurity ,Ego and Low self Esteem

Some men are just… for the lack of a better word, scum

Society is more tolerant of men’s misdeeds, can men learn to change their ways?

Do you know the agony the betrayed suffers? Cheating is a serious problem that can tear beautiful relationships apart in just a moment, and once this betrayal of trust is noticed, it could hardly be built back. It’s a shattering of the grand ambition of romantic love

Being in a relationship isn’t easy. It takes hard work to be committed, be involved, and remain faithful. Cheating doesn’t make anything better or resolve any current problems. In fact, it usually makes things worse and could end an otherwise great relationship. Being honest with yourself and your partner and admitting things aren’t working and that it’s time to move on. It is, after all, a more grown-up way of dealing with things. While “boys will be boys”, you are actually men. This is called “maturity.” It’s called “being an adult.” It’s called “not being a fuck up.” The best course of action before resorting to cheating is to talk to your partner, flee from that seductress, seek therapy, take a break, or admit that you need to move on and see other people.

One of the biggest enemies of a relationship is cheating. Knowing this enemy inside and out will help men remain faithful.


60 Responses

  1. Nice article you’ve got here …it’s really resourceful. But then I sense a bias. Are you saying women do not cheat?

    • Thank you. There is nowhere in my post that states women do not cheat. Of course, they cheat and they think they can be excused for their actions due to their reasons. I will also address ‘Why Women Cheat?’ on another post. I would like to have your opinion on this

    • No, they do not understand what a relationship entails. It is not about love, trust is very important, once it is broken, it cannot be fixed.

  2. Good one Yetty. Everyone cheats for different reasons. It takes discipline, determination and respect for your partner not to give in to temptation.

    • Thank you. Both men and women cheat, the effect their cheating ways have on their partners is more psychological than physical

  3. Nice article, Yetunde.
    Thumbs up.
    Lack of contentment will always lead people to cheat. Cheating men should please remain single.

    • Instead of discussing the issues with their partners, they go out to find solace in the hands of another woman. Cheating men(single or married)need to change from their cheating ways

  4. Nice article, so much to learn but most importantly, Cheating is a choice, Cheating is never justifiable under any circumstances.

    • Nothing justifies cheating. Men should learn to discuss issues with their partners or leave on a clean slate

  5. Nice article you have here but with this story we can’t say men cheat because the cheating came with a circumstance that can’t be averted. He was drunk and don’t forget that the lady in question already knows his weak point, which we all know our exes too. Teni should give him chance to express himself and then Denola too should stay away from things that would make him fall again. Nobody is perfect here, it can happen to the lady too if the table is been turned.

    • It can happen to anyone does not justify cheating. He was drunk does not justify cheating. She knows his weakness does not justify cheating. Nothing, absolutely nothing justifies cheating. If one plays with fire, it will definitely burn one. This scenario could have been avoided, he had so many opportunities to not go down that lane but he did. He had the opportunity to take his leave as soon as she joined them on the table. He had the opportunity to not get drunk knowing ‘how much trouble’ she is. He had the opportunity to get a cab for her. He had the opportunity to take her to a hotel, He had the opportunity to use the sitting room or go stay elsewhere. And finally, he had the opportunity to think with his head and not his d***. But then he just wants to toe the line of ‘his defenses were down, she was damn too sexy, he was drunk blah blah blah. He cheated, let him own his shit and stop the blame game

  6. I have always liked the idea of being a romantic lol, so, this part of the write up stick with me, where cheating was referred to as a “shattering of the grand ambition of romantic love”

  7. I’m not going to take sides bcos both men & women cheat. I believe women even cheat more than men. But I think most men cheat for fun but women cheat for personal reasons.

    • Yes, both men and women cheat. A woman thinks her reason for cheating is valid, so therefore she can be excused

    • Yes, both men and women cheat. Whatever their reasons for cheating are, it is still not justifiable

  8. This is a beautiful one Yetty! Only God can help some men, it really takes discipline and the grace of God for men not to cheat, but I also believe that not all men cheat.

    • Thank you. In as much as not all men cheat, 70% of them do. Like you said it takes the grace of God and conscious effort to not want to cheat

  9. Great piece of content. It is known fact that most of we men cheat but isn’t that better than having a second wife? . Nobody should stone me ooo..

    Great job Yetunde!

  10. Why cheat when you can leave the relationship. Are you saying the person been cheated upon should be happy that the husband did not marry a second wife, choosing a lesser evil?

  11. Good article. Luckily I read the “why women cheat” first before reading this and I noticed some bias.
    Men are SCUM and women are WHORE. No excusing any gender. When men cheat, they don’t cheat on goats or chickens. They carry out the cheating with another human being with a gender called female. Often times, these women know and even want it. They don’t say no. In fact, most women set the traps.
    You also failed to mention one reason men cheat. Men also cheat because women use Kayamanta nowadays and even go as far as spiritually disturb a man who has committed to be loyal and honest in his marriage. In all, no excuse for cheating. It is a personal responsibility that involves discipline, grit, strong resolution and most importantly; God’s grace. Because when kayamanta and jazz is involved, only God’s grace can help you.

  12. Cheating nowadays is so normal; as a matter of fact, most men actually have it at the back of their minds (assumptions) that their partner cheat on them and they just hide it better..so they also cheat because they don’t want to feel like a “dull” or “slow” guy or be tagged as one by his friends lol…crazy ooo
    Communication for most men is usually a big deal and then their INSECURITES whewww

  13. Hmmmm. My Ex husband always brag to his friends my wife understands I like women. One time we were going to a party. And since he was going with just one of his friends he decided not to take his car so we went in his friend’s car. Omg! I was so embarrassed with the conversation he had with his friends that day in the car. He kept saying my wife understands and she’s not jealous. And I kept staring at him like you fool . I have been indulging this conversation privately in the house with him. Is this why he feels it’s right to say comfortably in public. His friend on the steering kept saying Mr Man keep quiet and be grateful for the kind of wife you have. And she kept saying it’s not about understanding. She knows I like women. Anyways have divorced his ass he can keep exploring now

    • Woah. I am sorry to hear about your experience Mimi. Kisses and hugs from this end. I pray for a better man for you. I have been chatted privately and told that it is men’s nature to cheat and I say that’s bullshit! My next post is going to be about exclusivity.

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