DNA PALAVA

In light of the current trend on Twitter concerning paternity fraud(DNA palava). Do you think doing a DNA test is a necessity?

I had to interview both men and women. Let’s take a look at the men’s point of view first cos they are at the receiving end…

“Necessary for all. But it all depends on the individual father involved. It is immaterial that the kids look exactly like you or the resemblance is 100%. From a legal viewpoint, consent of the wife is not even necessary for it to be conducted. Paternity is a serious matter.To avoid stories that touch, the earlier it is done the better having regards to the prevalent discoveries that may later send the husband to an early grave. Fathers should be aware of the importance of establishing paternity. Once legally established, they can petition for various rights in a sane clime such as Custody, Visitation and rights to join in decision making about the child’s education. It also ensures various rights and privileges for their children such as rights to inheritance, fathers medical and life insurance benefits plus access to paternal family health history amongst others. Already done a paternity test for my kids.” – Akin

“Before the proliferation of this DNA issue, I’ve always known that some women are enmeshed in infidelity..! I remember I once told you I don’t do church girls….Na from there infidelity dey start…. It’ll be difficult to believe that a fire-spitting, tongue-speaking young girl in the church is a nympho. She’ll definitely hide that part of her and show you the decent, churchy and godly girl that we all program our mind to marry. I will if I have reasons to doubt her fidelity. Trust is not total, you can’t totally trust a mortal. Nobody is infallible Only God is….Even if you date a lady for 10 years, you can’t completely know her. More reason Christ should be the bedrock of any relationship/marriage. Just that we have more of churchgoers these days than those with a personal encounter with Christ.” – Timi

“I’m an old school when it comes to love and relationship. I don’t follow social media trends when it comes to my personal life. If I ever have a need to start applying for a DNA test, then the relationship has hit the rock. So discussing with your partner about DNA test before marriage simply shows that you don’t trust her…and if you don’t trust her, why go into a relationship with her? Or why would you like to marry someone you do not trust?” -Nonso

“When you bring this DNA discussion up, it means there is no trust
there is a lack of trust and that’s just the sad truth. When you are trying to test for something, you are doing penetration test in IT that means your network is not strong and you are checking to know if you can be hacked. When Satan tested Jesus. there was no trust. It is not a thing you should bring up. As the way things are going now, you must use wisdom. If I marry a lady I trust and not shepeteri I will not bring it up but if she is a good girl today, bad girl tomorrow forget I will bring it up. The day someone will come to my house and say she has kids for me how will she feel. So if I guess that something is amiss, I will check.” – Philip

“Super necessary, Trust no one these days oooo. Both male and female
This our generation is wicked and I mean intentionally wicked especially with keeping secrets from their spouses. The one who is a victim too actually trusted but was betrayed. Trust is personal and individual and can be betrayed. She could also try to make some confirmation in other aspects of the relationship. Your wife wants to check your phone and chats… What would you call that? I am neither a feminist or masculinist when it comes to this kinda issue. ” – Kevin

“This is why I feel DNA is important. It avoids paternity fraud. Many women don’t like the DNA test because they feel men also cheat too. So they feel they are now having their revenge and the men can have a taste of their medicine. A man cheating is entirely different from a woman cheating. If a man cheats. And his side chick gets pregnant, the man will have to take care of the new baby and baby mama. He might rent a house or room for her and put all his resources to the baby mama.. but if a woman cheats and gets pregnant for another man, she will bring the kid home. Now, the woman gets pregnant and her husband doesn’t know the baby is not his. The husband invests his resources and works for the new baby. He treats the baby as his, he could even buy property in the baby’s name without knowing that the kid is not his. So he is being defrauded without his knowledge. A woman cheating is pure fraud, emotional and financial blackmail because her husband will be responsible for the baby, but a man cheating is still okay, because he will still be responsible for his baby mama. I ain’t justifying anything, cheating generally is bad, make person just marry the right one .” – Shile

“Q/A 😞I don leave marriage for una. Tueh 😝 Women are scum.” – Ben

” If you have a mind to adopt a child that is not yours and take care of them. Then you know that DNA doesn’t really matter, however, what makes a child rather is the love of the father that helps them grow to cherish you not by DNA.” – Ife

” If you have doubts or you think doing it brings you peace of mind. Why not. But will tend towards not. Cos once I start not trusting it would become an issue that’s more than DNA” – Tunde

“Omo I don’t know but shit is scary. I think it is a necessity if you have reasons to doubt your spouse. People change and no one is perfect.” – Tony

“Different strokes for different folks. Whoever wants to should. Whoever does not want to should not. If I have valid reasons or reservations to, I would. It’s same as asking if I would go for HIV screening with a partner after marriage. If I have valid reasons to think it is needed, of course, I would go. But what I will not do is go for tests because some people on social media are asking me to do it or not to do it. I MUST be the architect of that decision. Not some guy on the media. You don’t do DNA tests before marriage. A DNA is a test done to determine paternity. So, if after my marriage, I have VALID reasons to believe the kids are not mine, I would (not even I, we would) go for paternity definitely. Just like I would go for HIV screenings if I think a partner had sexual relations outside the confines of matrimony. It’s not a sentimental or emotional decision at all. Total logic. Just to validate or establish truths. Doesn’t mean I don’t love or respect my spouse.” – Anthony

” When you have a united and strong-rooted home, what is DNA test? That’s just it! A man that wants to go for a DNA test should be expecting HBP. God created you and you’re using a device to confirm your children! I’m not in support of it though! As long as you decide to go for a DNA test, it shows that you never trusted your wife from on set! And family is meant to be built on TRUST. Believe me today! If I got married today, and I caught my wife cheating on me! My only choice is to lock each other indoor, counsel her, ask her why she did such, she might have an excuse,🤷‍♂️ I might be at fault… probably unknowingly 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️…Then we sort it out and relocate somewhere else to cover her shame!!! It’s a marriage not dating! You see who you marry, and if anything outside your liking happens, just put it right and move on with her. What some people don’t understand is that the children will still be alive while the parents are gone! Raise every child in your care,….I decide not to have many kids when I get married but I dream to raise thousands of children! Now tell me if they will not call me their daddy??🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ ” – Tito

“Yes, it is very very necessary. Cos from stat 70% of first children are not true biological children of their supposed fathers. I will trust her but that does not mean I won’t still do it. It will buttress the trust and make our love stronger if I am the biological father.” – Femi

“It’s necessary but has to be a choice. Base on trust I would not. God have a way of revealing things his own way. Na man wey no trust him wife. But if after all the trust, it still turned out that the lady is still having an affair outside , Omo there is a need. But seriously this issue is deep. Seriously this matter , everybody get different opinions.” – Feyi

Now let’s hear what the women has to say if their husbands decide to take the kids for a DNA.

“I think it will always be a question of trust if my partner demands a DNA test especially when I am so sure that I’ve been faithful…because, what they are momentarily questioning at that point is your faithfulness and that could be damaging to a relationship. However, we cannot hide from the fact that there are women going about dishonouring the boundaries of their marriage, so in order to accommodate that scenario and still help faithful people maintain some level of trust in their marriage, and also considering that a lot of issues such as baby swap could cause this kind of confusion, a paternity test could be introduced as one of the regular tests that should be done at childbirth, that way everyone is happy, no one is suspecting anyone. Also, outside the confines of the above suggestions, if a man still feels the need to request paternity test later in a child’s life, then he must be doing so with a lot of reasons and must also bear in mind the impact of his actions.” – Judy

RELATED POST : WHY DO MEN CHEAT

“If the foundation be destroyed what can the righteous do. It all boils down to the foundation of the marriage. Trust is one of the foundations of marriage if that was absent right from the word go it would continue in the marriage. Of a DNA or no DNA some people at the beginning of their relationships are in an open relationship and slept with other people. When they decide to take it further, there is the doubt with the other partner that this person might still be seeing other people. If you do not have doubt at the beginning , there should be no doubt or DNA /paternity issues. when both partners are open with each other.” – Mercy

“Hmmmm. It’s really a deep something. Firstly it depends on the relationship we share. If we are the type that is close and can discuss anything. I feel we can discuss it and if you are not still satisfied, you can do a test. However, I will like to know what warranted the thought. Most times, something must have warranted that thought. Say maybe the woman was dating two people before they got married and the man was aware. With the news just flying around, it is only normal for the man to think along that line. Bottom line, there must have been an underlying factor to make the husband think along that line. Or trust is a big issue in such relationships. And maybe the man has been trying to ignore and pretend it is not there. For instance, I don’t see why my husband will say he wants to do a paternity test for my kids. First, he knows I dated him only for 8years before we married. In fact, on my wedding day, I was menstruating. I have never slept outside (except for my parent’s house) the house without him. And in my parent’s house, he dropped me there himself and knows that I was indoor all through because we were talking all through. So there has never been any reason. Something must have caused the man to have a rethink. Well, he can go ahead. So far he tells me cos our relationship is one that we can discuss including how we feel. So if he tells me what is making him doubt and request to want to do. By all means, unfortunately, he will not cos all his children look like him.” – Maami

“Yes, if there is any evidence of infidelity. My hubby has no reason to even think of a DNA test. If with my faithfulness, he tries it, I will allow him to satisfy himself and deal with him in my own way.” – Omene

“Hmmmmm This is a deep question I think when there’s trust, there won’t be a need for it. But if a man has a conviction in his spirit he should. I will feel bad, to be honest.” – Dunni

“He should do na lol. He should check if the baby is mine too.” – Bukky

If I get pregnant before marriage and he asks for a DNA test after having the child? No I won’t feel disrespected. If I get pregnant after marriage and he asks for a DNA my darling I will gladly let him run the test but it would cause a strain in our marriage. Let us not kid ourselves, issues like this would cause a strain in your relationship especially when you know you have been faithful to this person. So a wise man who doesn’t trust his woman should run the test without her knowledge. -Kiki

“Lol, I will jare. If the person has doubt, he should go ahead and do it. I would definitely feel disrespected but again that is if I know na 😊
I heard you can use the person’s hair to do the test. So if I were the hubby no one would know I did it, I die with the secret 🤣 especially if the child happens to be mine eventually. Ehen, women are now so wild o and do unthinkable things. So I don’t blame men, why will I father a child that way, so deceitful, o wrong na 🤣.” – Chi

“This wouldn’t be a discussion if there was trust. Disrespect of the highest order.” – Anne

You have read from both sides and all I can say is that if you have doubts about the paternity of your child/children, don’t wait, get a paternity test now!